Many times and many women and girls have suffered in a world that is unwilling to speak of or do anything about male violence.
If you place coulda woulda shoulda rhetoric onto victims, you are victim blaming and perpetuating rape culture.
Do not tell her she should do or should have done, do not tell her she could have or could do, do not tell her you would have or would not have…
The conversation needs to change. Stop focusing on her, start focusing on him.
How can you do that? Well for starters you can discuss how to hold him responsible socially and criminally. You could discuss gis choices and stop making excuses for them. Stop blaming the women close to him for him deciding to rape.
Women are not responsible for rape or rapists.
Stop fetishising rape and stop pushing prostitution and sex industry as work.
Consent can not be bought, sold, rented or coerced.
Stop pushing ‘dominance’ sex as anything other than male supremacy and for male consumption.
Stop putting rape victims on a pedestal and kicking them off when they say no to you.
Stop exploiting rape victims to further your agenda and cause.
Sports magazines use naked women for men to gawk at while claiming they’re empowering women via #metoo STOP
Stop claiming women have a choice when suffering exploitation, rape and domestic violence.
Start considering how big a problem male violence is and how sick women are that we and children are being used as collateral damage.
Start considering the true representation of victims and how little there is.
Start listening. For once. Just listen